The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom ~ Henry Ward Beecher

The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children.~Jessica Lange

Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.~Barbara Kingsolver

"just say yes- just say there's nothing is holding you back.."

Saturday, April 24, 2010

50 Pounds later, Food and I broke up

50 Pounds

I think I got on the scale 3 or 4 times today to make sure I was reading the numbers right. I did it. I really did it. But how? How did I-- little old me, how did I loose 50 pounds?!?What?.... How can this be?... I love food--and I mean, I LOVE food. Up until recently, it was as if I was handcuffed to the clock, wondering when my next feeding was.

My mood or frame of mind could change with the idea or topic of what the subsequent meal was... well sometimes it still does excite me that much! My husband adores cooking and is fabulous at it; so when he says he's making his homemade refried beans and green chili- I'm instantly lighter, almost giddy. Oh my---isn't that sad? Ugh.. I feel silly saying that -but it's true. I've always been the one who is borderline, overly energized for birthday parties. Parties meant I get to eat cake-- ok forget the cake, I get to eat icing!!! So needless to say, but I'm a lick the bowl kind of gal. I grew up in a family that has desert at every meal for goodness sake. My family has eaten doughnuts or strudel as desert in the morning after having eggs, hash browns and sausage! Luckily, most of my family hasn't really ever had real concerns with weight. But for me, after but after babies and getting older, I can't eat like how I used to in my twenties.

Food has also been like a close friend to me as well. When I'm sad, chocolate has lent its beloved ear. Happiness has gone hand in hand with pizza for oh so many years. And mood swings along with hormones like clockwork, call out for late night bowls of cereal each month. I covered my pain with food and before I knew it I actually looked like what I ate; unhappy and unhealthy.

Nowadays I've since learned through my mom, my sister, my friends and wonderful Weight Watchers how to reward or console myself without food. It's remarkable how good it feels to put a new shirt in celebration - and not congratulate myself with three scoops of ice cream or too many Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I know that some of this may seem obvious to certain people- but for me, it took a while to get all of this. And oh boy, does it feel good! I still have very strong feelings for food and enjoy eating lots of chocolate; but the trick is now that I've got the jurisdiction with food. Food no longer has authority over me.

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
Maya Angelou

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