The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom ~ Henry Ward Beecher




The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children.~Jessica Lange




Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.~Barbara Kingsolver



"just say yes- just say there's nothing is holding you back.."

Saturday, June 20, 2009

A passage through growth … a mother’s contemplation of self




Today we had a wonderful occasion for my son’s 5th birthday. The joy in Kalel’s face when he saw his cake and gasps of air with each new present were gifts for both me and my husband. I didn’t know so much pleasure and peace could come from watching another person’s happiness until my children were bestowed upon me. Each day they grow and learn, I do so as well. I followed my folks by example at the start, but now I find I make my own rhymes and reason.
But just as slight ease and comfort settle in with my role of educator; I find that my engaging boys school me.
The birds that sing and snack on our deck some days, somehow seem speak the same language as my children. I attempt to understand the dialect, only realizing I had let magic of that argot slip through my fingers years ago. When did I lose it? Where did I lose it? Why did I stop seeing the beauty and ingenuousness in the world? –Was it just growing up or was it something else?....
The ‘old’ me full of selfishness and lack of responsibility doesn’t fit into my life as it is now, and letting go of that slight superlative has been difficult at times. But with that being said, the harmony and incantation with my old self I can bring along on this voyage. My mommy role is more blissful and satisfying than I ever could have imagined ….and yet some days balance does elude me, a struggle still to grow. This quote seems to sum it up, “The journey between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place.” {Barbara De Angleis].

My life these days, I feel sometimes lost ... or as though I’m simply still becoming. Ten years ago I might of said, ‘this is who I am, this is really me’ ~as if the the mold was set... but this is not so now. Today I feel as though I’m on a journey; I’m rediscovering life and myself. I used to feel that I couldn’t wait to ‘be’ something, but now,… I’m floating, I’m changing… I’m becoming every day, remembering the enchantment and delights in the world. My beautiful boys teach me about love and real sharing every moment of every day.

So, with loud laughter and blessed newness in each morning’s light, I know my fresh mind and path is paved by both my boy's hands. And its in days like this I am so thankful for the nuggets of guilelessness my boys deliver that are so joyfully aiding us all to become who we are meant to be.
With every magnificent lesson learned and each ridiculous mistake that’s made: gloriously this teacher becomes the student.

2 comments:

  1. "this teacher becomes the student"

    So very often I find myself in the same situation and it is always refreshingly peaceful. We can learn so very many important lessons from our children who view the world through such accepting eyes and intuitive minds. Love your reflections here my friend.

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  2. I understand this completely. I struggle with the same issues from day to day. You summed it up beautifully. I am thankful for my boys and the DeAngelis quote rings true to all mothers.

    Happy Belated Birthday to your little man. Mine turned 6th on the 20th. My youngest turned two yesterday. It's a time of reflection, I completely understand this post. Love and Light. xoxo

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sooooo big!

Aware

Aware
Every day we do things, we are things that have to do with peace. If we are aware of our life..., our way of looking at things, we will know how to make peace right in the moment, we are alive. ~Thich Nhat Hanh

the Lorax

"I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues" Dr Seuss

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